What a freak eh? A toothless snowman? Who comes up with this nonsense? Oh sheesh – just me, the class jester. I absolutely loved seeing everyone get into it – laughing at themselves, laughing as a snake, or a donkey – or shaking their head at me for embarrassing the crap outta them.
I used to be so silly – I used to give way less shits. What is it about adulting that makes us think we need to be a certain way? My closet is so dull because of my business casual wardrobe – then I tried to ‘capsule’ it – so this boring top can go with this lame pair of pants – and you can alternate this long cardigan for this blazer or that button up for that turtleneck. Ahhh!! Steve Jobs wore a turtleneck to keep his head on – his robot head – to hide his intergalactic throat panel.
I think covid has made Canadians even more subdued. More lackadaisical. More muted. More meek. Unsure. Non-offensive. Honestly – I wish I lived in a bigger town sometimes so I could prance through the streets in a homemade moo-moo, barking at strangers on bicycles and sumo-walking into stores.
My Socials 9 teacher had a trick for me when I had too much energy – he would have the class all laugh together – going “Ho-Ho-Ho-Ha!”
“Ho-Ho-Ho-Ha!” He was a pretty sturdy, very CIS rugby coach and socials teacher so this was quite the sight. Also, my class knew to blame me for this collective ‘Ho-ho-ho-ha-ing’… I used to have so much energy I would fall victim to laugh attacks that would send me out of the classroom and into the hallway – and for a couple laps around the building until I cooled down. Now I can sit and behave ‘politely’ for hours on end. I think maybe my true aura is full-fledged bitch, but I’ve been so good at hiding it, that my negative/sour energy turns into armpit sweat, ear wax, and large pores on my nose.
where rivers are born 