This Aaron dude is my motherfucking spirit animal.
Am I a cool, cute duck that can get away with casually saying, “Is it bring a dumbass motherfucker to work day?”.
I’m pretty done with behaving. Colouring within the lines of my life – now, that doesn’t make for good TV, does it?
Twat. Cunt. Taint. Fucktard. Dumbass. Knob. Dickface. Kumquat. Gotcha.
Dillweed.
Dumbass.
Motherfucker cocksucker.
I texted motherfucker cocksucker to my partner’s phone while they were driving so the autobot female voice would read it out all clunky and polite. That’s the kind of cool stepmom I am.
“Cock… sucker.. mother.. fucker… Turn right in 300 meters.”
Sigh.
Ladysmith is so stale.
We left crackers (Stone Wheat Thins) in the back of our cupboard for so long, like four years. They got that stale, squishy yet hard, and really dusty musty flavour. That is the staleness of this town, but without the flavour.
My cheeks are a bit flushed – almost time for hair of the dog.
where rivers are born 