Kitty cat. Hiss hiss. Animal faces. And crackers. Lion statues at the end of driveways. Flanking entrances. The Haka. Wild. Fully expressive. Small kittens hissing and reacting they cause themselves to jump. Claws outstretched. Fuck you leaf that fell unexpectedly. Fuck you coming around that corner with no warning. A tiger in a cage gets swatted across the face by a stray cat. This is my turf, bitch. How pitiful you look.
I loved the wild symmetry of fully expressed eyebrows on her face as she demonstrated. It was like a painting or a Chinese dragon. How do I continue to dedicate time to dragons and angels and mermaids when I am suppose to live my human life as the run-around stepmom. Become close to the kid, but not too close. Run naked in the woods. Sun topless on the beach. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Should I ask my sister what it is like to be free? She said she is ‘pro-poly’ – my filter says that that is afraid of commitment, dedication, compromise, healing, growth, and true connection.
Is she free because she bares her skin? Is she free because she dances on tables at the age of 34? Is she free because she snowboards and parties and doesn’t really put time or commitment into being an auntie, a sister, or a partner?
Should I worry about her? Should I let her come to me? She rarely comes to me… then sadness, then grief, resentment and anger.
I am a one-phone-call-a-month type of relationship for her. A ‘if I’m already visiting a friend on the Island maybe meet for a quick beer’ type of relationship.
where rivers are born 