Auntie claimed. Natalie Goldberg read my mind. As I was adding background juice for the characters in my short story I was so worried that there was no way I could add the imagery and details as I had with some of the scenes already on the page. If I add more details about fishing and trawling will this disinterest some readers? If I say some real shit and use words like fuck and pussy will the stale old white arts council even consider publishing it?
Also – how do I add the painful parts without reliving the painful parts – I mean a pube Kraken flips the script on shameful, self-loathing sexual assault and uses fiction as the vehicle through which to share and process and observe rather than be overwhelmed by.
I’ve got a boat name – The Rusty Clam – thanks Kristina for the nudge – and thanks to each of you for the feedback. A little girl inside me is learning to flip the script on constructive criticism – as a very generous act rather than one that might open old wounds, inflict new harms, and silence the voice wanting to be heard.
I guess I’m learning about safe spaces. I never really understood the nuance of this before – but am seeing that in safe spaces I won’t be judged, I won’t be abandoned, I won’t be emotionally abused. I will show up again and so will you. Time and again – maybe in slightly different ways as we evolve on the rainbow rollercoaster of life – but whether we’re riding the same rainbow or different ones – facing forwards, backwards, or hanging from the roof racks – we will pop in and out at all the right moments.
where rivers are born 