I wanted to be born at our cabin, on Galiano Island.
My parents were there on the August weekend – escaping from the big city and their fancy city jobs.
I was ready to be born there on August 6th, 1985.
We were flown to Richmond General – where I was to be born instead.
I guess I had thought it was going to be calm and peaceful when I breached the threshold, so I came out with a smile and big blue eyes.
Maybe it’s because my mom was 38 or maybe it’s because I wasn’t crying – but the doctor picked me up by my feet, hung me upside down and spanked me or whacked me on the back so I started crying.
“To make sure I was breathing,” she told me.
In the womb, in the uterus – what would I have liked to know…
I guess I felt a lot of the emotions and stressors of my mother – I was born with acne… and Louise Hay says acne is repressed anger… would this have been my mother’s anger that got passed on to me and manifested itself on my cheeks?
Or could this have been my own repressed anger – this early – not being born where I wanted to be born…
not at my cabin,
not in a peaceful way.
Smacked while hanging upside down… being punished for being calm, joyful, and wide-eyed.
I wonder how this has impacted all other moments in my life…
Is there a pattern of doing the ‘right’ thing – only to be punished or feel punished for it later? I do know now that this is definitely a pattern I am working through – especially as it relates to my career.
Little womb baby – you are loved.
You are perfect just as you are.
Your smile and big blue eyes may make others fearful, uncomfortable.
Smile wide baby girl.
Their lens, their interpretations are not your burden.
Shine bright – you are as unique and powerful as everyone else.
Step out and into the world the only way you know how.
Head turned skyward – smiling brightly – calmly.
A curious and optimistic knowing.
Flourish. Leave your impressions.
Not needing to impress – but naturally impressing.
Share your love. Wear your mistakes on your sleeve.
Peel back the shame of too this or too that.
Just right – with your built-in flippers and your 6’1″ frame.
Those three white eyebrow hairs are speaking to you baby girl.
Sure – pluck them – but become curious as to why they are there.
Just below your third eye – in your unibrow.
where rivers are born 