Season reason people-pleasin’.
Not for a lifetime though – as I have some awareness of that now.
Still notice my tendency toward over-giving, followed by some prickly resentment and/or grief of abandonment and rejection.
Lifetime. My friend Jenny. You’ve heard of her – our moms were pregnant at the same time so we were “wombmates” – and still are.
She lives in Washington and we rarely talk – but when we do it is love.
She is raising a beautiful boy with big blue eyes, a million questions and fashionable clothes – he is his mamma’s boy.
Reason – is this something us humans can answer in our lifetimes – maybe… maybe every seven or eight years you notice some big moods, followed by big shifts – followed by “hmm… ahhh… or ah ha!”
Thanking traumatic events doesn’t feel right to me though – or even thanking or befriending your enemies – it gives them too much credit – I did notice looking at old photos of these toxic people now that they look grey and ill and like Lizard People is the only way I can describe them.
I’d like to be grateful to all of the supports and love and compassion and validation from those around me who stood in my corner to work through those traumatic times – from the crystals and stones – to the rivers and creeks – to dampened cedar bows, to my partner, my kid, my kid, my kid (ok – missing my kid) – to Osoyoos and Whistler – this home – my therapists – the coffee shops – strangers’ kindness – to the aesthetician who said I have the face of an angel – to Erin – the intuitive for shedding light and holding the space in her home like a warm hug – to my acupuncture treatments, massage therapy, reiki – to New Earth Mystery School and this group, to Janelle and the writers – to witches in books and in real life – to powerful bitches on social media – to bare bellied mama bears – to lacrosse coaches and lacrosse moms, to my mom – sort of, sometimes, in small doses – in moderation – cue metaphor of sugar to poison…
to the birds, butterflies and blue skies – to new friends, acquaintances and places –
to rainstorms and my dog – to all of these things that helped put Humpty Dumpty back together again – even to the dirty dishes in the sink and grimy floors coated in dog fur – those chores were things I could do, even in the darkest times – and say – ‘Hey – I’m here. Completing a small task – with my hands and making a difference.’
where rivers are born 