relationship

i’m embracing difficult conversations softly. i’m embracing the difficulty of staying soft during these conversations. we had a lovely dinner for diwali at a friend’s house. three couples. one baby. one teenager. a cozy home with home-cooked food. i sent an instagram post to my partner on relationship stuff, spoken by a man who speaks directly but compassionately. he listened to it beside me on the couch. then said nothing. then i mentioned how our kid is ignoring his gf when she asks him to stay over and he doesn’t want to. he is copying what he sees at home. he is copying how his father copes with relationship conflict – by avoiding, ignoring, and not responding. i brought this up to him and said i’m worried that he is copying the behaviour he sees play out in our house. i said just like how things are passed down to us from our parents, we are passing things down too. and if we don’t make a conscious effort to heal ourselves we will pass down the unhealed parts of us too.

he didn’t even look at me, turned on the tv, said something about the hockey game and i got off the couch and said good night.